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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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You broke it, didn't you.
Listens:
2605
Who:
GLaDOS
Almost there...
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim.
Listens:
1502
Who:
Announcer
clickclickclick
Listens:
1128
Who:
Defective Turret
Awful attendance record.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do.
Listens:
2493
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhohohhhh. Wow. Well done, seriously, both of you. Why don't you two go on ahead? I'll catch up with you.
Listens:
2379
Who:
Wheatley
You're not going to believe this. I found a sealed off wing. Hundreds - HUNDREDS! - of perfectly good test chambers. Just sitting there. Filled with skeletons. Shook them out. Good as new!
Listens:
1408
Who:
Wheatley
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
749
Who:
Core 2
So that's just what I was doing. I was just reading... ah... books. So I'm not a moron.
Listens:
2268
Who:
Wheatley
This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you OK?
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Reactor explosion in four minutes.
Listens:
4701
Who:
Announcer
Yeah, take the lemons...
Listens:
38361
Who:
GLaDOS
I know things look bleak, but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body!
Listens:
4426
Who:
GLaDOS
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
1022
Who:
Core 1
Hey, a countdown clock! Man, that is trouble. Situation's looking pretty ugly. For such a beautiful woman. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
1353
Who:
Core 2
You know when I mentioned ten minutes? A little bit optimistic!
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
457
Who:
Wheatley
That’s right. You're not humans.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you for completing the testing courses. If you enjoyed your experience, you may now re-enter the testing course of your choice.
Listens:
968
Who:
Announcer
Ohhhh, here we go... here it comes...
Listens:
451
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
1069
Who:
GLaDOS
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
Nooooo. No, I don't think it is. I think you're wrong.
Listens:
2154
Who:
Wheatley
Are we in space?
Listens:
1044
Who:
Core 1
Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Listens:
18762
Who:
Core 1
Is anyone there?
Listens:
7716
Who:
Turret
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
1027
Who:
Wheatley
Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, the treatment of radioactivity, and dying of radioactivity.
Listens:
2367
Who:
Core 3
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
Sollllve it...
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Stay back.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, let me explain again. Pop a portal. Behind me. Alright? And come on through.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
On ya go.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Cryptic.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Hellllooo, imbecile.
Listens:
4892
Who:
GLaDOS
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
5504
Who:
Core 1
To complete this test, you need to find a set of blue prints.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh boy.
Listens:
1065
Who:
Core 1
Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me.
Listens:
884
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
538
Who:
Core 2
I did this! Tiny little Wheatley did this!
Listens:
1816
Who:
Wheatley
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
636
Who:
GLaDOS
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
1591
Who:
Announcer
Don't either you have drive to be better than the other?
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Otherwise, I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the Being Alive club. Ha ha.
Listens:
3782
Who:
GLaDOS
Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space!
Listens:
8404
Who:
Core 1
Did my hint help? It did, didn't it? You know, if any of our supervisors had been immune to neurotoxin, they'd be FURIOUS with us right now.
Listens:
1560
Who:
GLaDOS
Today's Security Code is: 5,33,41,18
Listens:
7489
Who:
Announcer
[sigh] Don't tell anyone about this.
Listens:
1489
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations, you completed the standard section of this course. Before we can go any further, I will need you to complete one more test outside of the standard testing track.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Response
Listens:
2828
Who:
Announcer
SPAAACE!
Listens:
51756
Who:
Core 1
Wait. Just thought of something? How am I going to get in? You know, being bloody massive and everything.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
711
Who:
Wheatley
Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.
Listens:
10570
Who:
Cave Johnson
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
I swear I know him...
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop it!
Listens:
5558
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me in, and I'll take you up.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
We are only two tests away from reaching the humans, are you as excited as I am?
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Unconstructive.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
There she is...
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
490
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
1064
Who:
GLaDOS
Martyr.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Deploying
Listens:
3058
Who:
Turret
Okay, wait, let me light this path for you.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
You know how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a belated birthday present for you. Well... more of a belated birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it's a medical EXPERIMENT. What's important is, it's a present.
Listens:
3051
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, nice potato!
Listens:
101023
Who:
Defective Turret
Come on! We have to go!
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
590
Who:
Wheatley
Please ping a white portalable surface.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
It seems rather earlier to require reassembly.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo. Oo. Oo. Lady. Oo. Lady. Oo. Let's go to space.
Listens:
18854
Who:
Core 1
That's it, no, that's it! Yeah.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Alarmist.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m flyinnnng!
Listens:
2531
Who:
Turret
Well. This is the part where he kills us.
Listens:
1688
Who:
GLaDOS
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier.
Listens:
864
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
1038
Who:
Core 1
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
This would go a lot faster if you'd stay still. Then I'd have time to fix the facility. So one of us at least would live. No need to be selfish, luv, you're gonna die.
Listens:
1856
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, where are we goingNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Listens:
3911
Who:
Defective Turret
That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Sir, the test.
Listens:
1419
Who:
Caroline
Okay! No, don't worry! Don't worry! I've got it I've got it I've got it! THIS should slow it down!
Listens:
396
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. You survived. That's interesting. I guess I should have factored in your weight.
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
Always cold.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Fears conflict.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1018
Who:
GLaDOS
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
468
Who:
Wheatley
In fact, I devised a much more elaborate trap further ahead, for when you got through this easy one.
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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