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Portal 2
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Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
447
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
447
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes? Something you need?
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
445
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
445
Who:
Defective Turret
Uh oh.
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
443
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
443
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, what?
Listens:
443
Who:
Defective Turret
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
442
Who:
GLaDOS
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
441
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
441
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
440
Who:
Wheatley
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
439
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
438
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
OW!
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
Cryptic.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
435
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
434
Who:
Core 2
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
Abrasive personality.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
433
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
433
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
431
Who:
Core 2
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
Okay!
Listens:
427
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue is penalized
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
426
Who:
Wheatley
Turrets!
Listens:
426
Who:
Wheatley
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
425
Who:
Core 2
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
We're running out of time...
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Gah!
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
That conversion gel has been sitting in that pipe going stagnant for years. You'll probably get botulism portalling through it like that.
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
420
Who:
Defective Turret
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
This lock requires humans.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
I swear I know him...
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
Do not do it!
Listens:
417
Who:
Wheatley
Ow!
Listens:
417
Who:
Wheatley
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
Your ping tool can also be used to indicate to your partner where you would like them to place their portal.
Listens:
415
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
415
Who:
GLaDOS
Open the door!
Listens:
415
Who:
Wheatley
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
Agghh!
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
414
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
414
Who:
Defective Turret
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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